It's been a strange year. At least that's what I'm telling people when they ask where I've been. Not many people are privy to the personal details but usually just mentioning full-time school and two jobs is enough to make people back off. August 2012 is where the strangeness began and August 2013 is where I plan to start anew. Again. I start anew a lot. I think that's a good thing for someone who used to be so frightened of change.
This past Monday, I started back at the gym because I need to lose the 10 pounds I've gained since moving to Portland. On Tuesday, I started 5K training because I see runners on the street and desperately want to be one. On Thursday, I rejoined my favorite yoga studio because it helps bring me peace. I've started reading (for pleasure), cooking and relaxing again. It feels awesome. I think I've started to find my footing in Portland, something I thought would just magically happen as soon as I landed back here. It did not. It took time and effort and heartbreak and anger and turmoil and recklessness to get me here. And here is where I am. This is my jumping off point. Portland holds so many things that I want to be a part of and this is the year that I start doing them, being them, joining them and loving them. It's also the year that I hope to start being myself. I was never really sure who that person was but I'm closer than ever to figuring her out.
Things I've discovered:
I'm an introvert. This may not be a shock to anyone else but I never really knew it consciously until very recently. I've also learned that there is no shame in introversion, that I cannot "become" and extrovert and that there is no reason why I should apologize for who I am. It's also very, very possible to thrive as an introvert, which is exactly what I plan on doing.
I love women's soccer. I went to my first Thorns' game a few weeks ago and was hooked. It's amazing to watch these badass women doing their thing. It makes me feel like I'm back at Mount Holyoke. I'm hoping to score season tickets for 2014.
The state motto for Oregon (and the Thorns) is "She flies with her own wings." This is not only awesome just as it is but also lends itself to a perfect addition to my dragonfly tattoo. Backstory: When I moved to Portland in 2000, I wanted a tattoo of a dragonfly that said "Freedom." The tattoo artist I went to couldn't make it happen (I wanted the word to be part of the dragonfly itself) so she suggested that it just symbolize freedom. I agreed. Now, I've found the best wording to go with my idea from 13 years ago. I can't wait to set up my appointment.
These are just a few things I'm excited about for the coming year. I hope that "blogging more often" will make the list too but only time will tell.
